confidence or cockiness?
"A feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities."
How. Freaking. Powerful. Let's look at this closer, shall we. Self assurance? Yessss. Arising from one's own abilities? Hell yes. Confidence doesn't have anything to do with anyone else or their opinions, it is all about you. Confidence is the quiet calmness of knowing you got this.
Confidence is not the same as arrogance, egotism and/or narcissism. Confidence is what those things wish they were. Think for a second about someone who comes across as confident. Someone you know, a character in a movie or book. Got it in your mind? What characteristics make them confident? Confident people have higher self-esteem, self-awareness and function at a higher level than those who rely on selfish tactics to appear better.
How do you become more confident? That's a great question with a number of different answers. None of which are a quick fix. Darn.
In order to gain confidence, try looking to the areas of your life where you have already found success. This is a great place to start because it can be done over and over and helps to build your foundation. If it helps, you can journal some of your previous successes or start journaling as you find examples. Whatever works best for you. Be honest and kind with yourself as you go through this process. I know you will have a lot of examples after you get going! This exercise will help train your mind to look for the good and if done repeatedly can create new, positive habits.
As you find yourself coming up with great examples, think about how you can use those same tactics to create more success. Think about how you achieved progress and how you could use that same process for another situation. As you find more examples and situations where you see success, that positive energy can translate into confidence.
It is completely normal to feel lost and find it hard to start down this journey, but I have absolute faith that you can do it! When you are working toward confidence, remember that it is a journey and is not expected to happen over night. Start small and build on it.