Confidence in Your Future Coaching


Question How You Limit Yourself

Most of the time, we go through life without truly questioning ourselves or the people around us. There are exceptions, but generally speaking, we just move forward without asking why. Public Service Announcement: You can question yourself and others!!!!! Who knew?

Approach your thoughts with a curious mind and see if there are any areas where you might be unnecessarily restricting yourself, whatever the reason may be. 

Here are some questions you can ask yourself:
How true is that? 
Why do I think that?
Does that have to be true for me?
What if I approached this differently?
What is another perspective?

I am amazed at how many things I have just accepted as truth over the years without really considering. We are constantly being fed information and at some point, it just becomes something we believe. Here are some of the phrases that I have only recently started to question:

"When you get to be my age you'll understand..."
(Translates to: Being old means being overweight, unhappy, unattractive, etc..)

"Just wait until you have kids..."
(Translates to: Having kids is a burden.)

"When you get old your metabolism will stop too..."
(Translates to: Your age defines your weight.)

"Everything goes downhill after you get married..."
(Translates to: When you get married you'll be let down and you have to struggle to be happy.)

"Prince charming isn't real. All relationships are hard work..."
(Translates to: You should lower your expectations, settle, and be miserable like everyone else.)

"Everyone hates their job..."
(Translates to: Look for reasons to complain about your job because that's what everyone expects.)

For me, this really started with the idea that all relationships are hard work. Why? Does that have to be true for me? Why can't relationships be easy? I am currently in a relationship that is what I consider to be, on every level, perfect. Here is the kicker; it isn't hard work. So, if that is true for me, then my previous thought that "all relationships are hard work" doesn't have to be true. Now we are getting somewhere! *No kidding, this really was a huge AH-HA moment for me.* You mean, I don't just have to live my life like everyone else and be a stereotype for unhappiness? I don't have to just accept everything that the world has been lying about? My life can be what I want it to be? Wow, what freedom! 

There are many places where we pick up these messages and like I said, they are constantly being repeated and rephrased and engrained in our minds. However, that is just one possibility. What is another?

The next chance you get, I highly suggest you ask yourself one of the questions above and see what happens for you. Maybe you find out that your original way was totally true or the most effective way to achieve your desired goal. Maybe you unlock a whole box of ideas that you had never considered before. I am interested to hear what your experience is with this topic. Leave a comment below.