Confidence in Your Future Coaching


Resting B*tch Voice

So it turns out I have a bad case of "resting bitch voice". 

You know how you have friends who have a "thing" like, they are bad drivers, or text in really short sentences, but it's just how they are? Well... turns out you can have a very obvious "thing" and literally have no idea. 

In a previous post, I talk about how your inflection when speaking can some times give cues to your listener that you don't mean to put off. In that post, I was specifically talking about "upspeak" and how many people are giving off a vibe of not being confident by accidentally making statements sound like questions? Because their voice goes up at the end? Read about that, it is mind blowing if you haven't ever listened to yourself.

SO. There I was, thinking I was doing such a great job with my inflection because I really have gotten ahold of my upspeak tendencies and stopped ending statements with a verbal question mark. Sadly, I didn't realize that in order for me to do that, I was making my statements sound pretty bitchy. I have been so worried about avoiding upspeak that I have gotten into the habit of not fully expressing emotion with my voice. 

I realized this recently when I listened to my participation on a recorded video chat. I was in a perfectly happy mood, my day was going well, and the topic of conversation was something I enjoy. AND STILL! Without seeing my face on the video, you would have no idea that I wasn't in a foul mood. 

I am serious when I say I did not realize this. It was not one of my "things" that I am aware of. I legit had no idea. How long has this been going on? Forever? Just since I started learning about upspeak? I need answers!!!!!!

Regardless of how or when it happened, I want to change it. 

I want to be intentional about the signals I give to other people. Starting now, I am actively working on being intentional with my inflection, my words, and my expression of emotion. 

I hope this story gives you the courage to objectively look at some area of your life and say "yeah, I would like to change that, let me try."

Leave a comment and share something you caught yourself doing and how you were able to change that behavior.